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"When An Affair Is Not A Family Affair Is There Still Hope?"

There are three vulnerable times in a marriage when divorces are prominent. Other than money issues, infidelity is the second most common reason that couples get divorced. Although infidelity is a major reason a couple may call it quits, there is hope for the couple that decide to work through there problem and move past it to create a solid, loving relationship. A huge problem with our society today is that people just do not reconcile anymore. It has become too easy to just walk away to find the greener grass that just isn’t there. The interesting thing to think about is that most of the time the people who got divorced really did not want to leave each other. The two were not prepared and therefore did not know how to handle the pain of their problems.

The first stage or time when divorce is high is during the first three years if a marriage called the disillusionment time. This usually happens during the first three years when each person has big and sometimes unrealistic dreams that are broken into pieces. Reality of who the other person really is and their own limitations creates problems the couple was not prepared to handle.

The second stage is known as the “seven year itch”. This is the period of time when the couple has settle into a routine of career, family, and material possessions. Many people find themselves in a rut and becoming bored with their lives. They end up emotionally vulnerable and find themselves in situations that are compromising and many times leads to affairs.

The third stage or time when divorce becomes more common is known as the “empty nest time”. This is when the youngest child gets to an age when the no longer depend on their parents and make many decisions on their own. Or the youngest child moves out or gets married. Suddenly the two parents look at each other and either don’t really know the other or they are not sure if they want to continue spending the rest of their lives with the person they married and raised their family with for so many years.

The positive direction is to understand that unity really means to work together to achieve a oneness again. For so long there was a sense of “I” instead of a sense of “We”. When a couple is aware of the different stage or times when a marriage relationship can be shaken they can do things to protect the union they enter into. Couples need to return to the dating stage when they had a value for each other. They learned new ways to make each other happy even when life sent some shaky turns. For ideas and suggestions to enhance your relationship with you spouse feel free to visit

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